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    Episode Comments

    • jacqueline 1 year(s) ago wrote:

      I came across this podcast and really enjoy it. The hosts engage their audience with their knack of bouncing things off of one another and their topics are interesting and thought provoking. They seem to be down to earth and speak from their hearts about wanting to connect with others, are genuine and gifted at what they do. I can't wait until the next one is released, I am a real fan. Keep up the good work because karma spreads like a wild fire!
    • admin 1 year(s) ago wrote:

      Thanks for that! We truly look forward to any specific feedback you may have about each episode, or for the show as a whole!
    • elixeus 1 year(s) ago wrote:

      Good job dude! I knew you could do it!!
    • admin 1 year(s) ago wrote:

      This is just a test comment. As you can see, the communing system on polyChromatique.com is now functional. Next I'll be working on getting the contact-us form working! ;-)

  • Podcast Transcript

    Please note we intially post un-audited, ML-generated transcripts and later revise them. As a result some errors may be present in the unformatted versions until they receive a subsequent and final review.

    Welcome everyone to episode two of the Polychromatic Podcast. I'm loving this ! This is so exciting ! I'm after the first one. I just wanted to keep doing them over and over again. And so we're really excited to be here and we hope that you'll enjoy this. And something that we have wanted to do for a very long time. Were very. Actually pretty proud that last episode there was zero percent pro post production work that went into that. We just ended up just posting that right up. So we're hoping that we'll have the same look this time where we have to do anything post production wise, and hopefully we actually get a good outcome from this. You know, I guess if we're going to run out of luck eventually, but for the time being we're okay. I realized last time I did not introduce my co - host by coast. Here is my mom, Elaine, Hello Lane Hayes, AK, How's it going, sweetie ? In our right. So there's a This is a a two of us podcast as a mother and son podcast. If we didn't made that clear earlier, we'd been talking about this again, just to rehash what we talked about last time. For the past, I mean three ish years at least, I'd say pretty solidly and we've actually finally gotten around to it, so it feels great to actually be doing it. I was really excited after we published our last podcast. What was that ? I was on Sunday. We did it on Saturday and we published it on Sunday and we've already gotten some pretty good. I don't want to see feedback but but a pretty good response. And we have quite a few. The hits from Troubleshooting and stuff and just from us, you know, and I guess been a little love - struck with what we've created here. We have quite a few. Those downloads are from us, but there's actually a good chunk that are not from us. We even have someone all the way from Belgium that had download podcast and you know, we had some in San Francisco and we have some throughout Denver, nowhere else really. You know, speckled are peppered on the map, other than those main places. I think there might have been one also from South Carolina as well. But yeah, it's really cool. I mean, that's pretty cool that someone from another country. I mean, that's what's beautiful about these podcasts. They go all over the world now, and that's pretty amazing to me. I mean, had the opportunity to do something like this that previously. You know, twenty years ago, the internet is really. And one way. Even though the lot of bad has come with the internet, I remember very wild acquired culture. Nowadays. A lot of beautiful things have happened with the internet. Like we're doing something that would have previously been out of reach. Do absolutely. You do it out of your own home, a sound studio, wherever you pick the place to do it. And it's just instant. I mean, you can sit down and get into it and you don't even have to really do that much planning, except for maybe what you may want to talk about. But other than that, as Zach and I just kind of do our own thing, we don't really have a script. We don't really have much that we really plan ahead of time. Because we have found that the two of us can actually spend three, four, or five hours just talking back and forth with each other. And that's why we thought this might be really interesting, because we just haven't kind of a knack for that. The only thing that I was concerned about. Zach, One thing was that a lot of time. It's wasteful. Enthusiastic when we talk to each other. I was thinking that and how. Wonder how this is going to work when we actually do a podcast because we're so enthusiastic and we're listening to each other but we want to eagerly jump in. And sometimes I notice, for my part, that I tend to interrupt you. So I've had to be very careful during podcasts and this is going to really help me in their everyday living, I believe. Yeah, yeah, on that topic, it's okay. There's one less than one to say about the internet is the internet basically democratized a lot of things that previously. Router each democratized it. I mean, you know, used to not be able to. Is a band become a published manned, you know, and I guess recorded or what ? What's the term signed ? But the internet completely changed that. And so there's so many amazing creative things that are happening on the internet every day and you see it and you know, I don't know I'm a nice sound stuck up to say this, Okay, because you know you look at youtube, you look at all these different places and you know, like even Twitch. You know, like with which is where you can play video games in front of people and whatnot. And you know what struck me as strange as I never really saw it as a quote, unquote, creation or or being creative doing that for a long time. And I was like, why people consume themselves creatives and they they call it creating content and I'm like what what do you mean by creating content ? But you know, I really have to understand that really, in the process of creating content, anything that we do. I used to think that only we can create content is if you're hundred percent original and the only way you can be original is a few ideas original. Not that in today's world where originality is taking other things that exist and repackaging them in new forms and then his creativity that his creation. Absolutely. I also think the only way that for me to look at real is to be transparent to be who I am. I think that just trying to pretend something else or making yourself something else is impersonal. You don't get to really know the depth of a person. So to be just who you are. And that's the exciting thing about life is that I think that at that is something that I've learned throughout the years is just to give myself permission to just be who I am and know that that's ok. Well if you're done with your part, I just wanna make sure I'm not interrupting you either. Want we just chicken with each other and so anyways, I did want to provide a few updates. I've been working pretty heavily on the website website is Polychromatic dot com. I love it so it's polychromatic, but polychromatic is. Our website is p o l y c h r o m a t ice t i q u e dot com. So polychromatic in French, essentially dot com. And there I've been working on getting the website together. So the layout is, you know, basically ever first base page built design wise, and it, believe it or not, the latest podcast does automatically update from the feed, so that part is automatic already. I've been working on the logging systems, a very basic logging system. That kind of goes against the grain. It's where you can request a login link to be sent, your email address and you can specify how long you want that link to last. And as long as you bookmark the token ID for that you are all. You'll automatically be able to be logged into the website. And so you don't know. Do not need to remember a new password, but you do have to remember, though is what your specified username is. Because the first time you sign up with that username. If you do end up with that username, you receive an email and it'll be in that email that you need to make note of that username. Because if you want to get another email link sent to, you gotta make sure that you remember what that value is because otherwise, without knowing what the username is, it will not send out an email. And that's just to cut down on abuse because people could just be entering people's email addresses in with you know how, having absolutely no idea and abusing that feature. So that's one way to cut down on that abuse. That means that most people will only be requesting at most one email validation link per day. And and then if a person signs up, you know, for you know, a year's worth of use of the link. As long as you're using it, they don't have to have another email sent to them. So it's really awesome. You know what I really love about this Whatsapp ? No password, Yes, no password. That's right. So no more that password. We understand how annoying it is. We're wanting to lower the impact threshold for bugles to be able to become involved on the website. Might be asking, Okay, why would you want to come out, go out of your way and be involved with us as a podcasts. You know, I've got so much talent, you know, things going on in my life. Why would I want to be involved ? While the questions up to you, there may be no reason that you want to become involved, but if you do like our message and you do find you know our message personable relatable you want to provide feedback on, you know, newer episodes on what we're talking about will probably be also be posting polls, be able to contact us and download episodes and additionally, once we actually start taking supporters, you know if we. We might open a patriotic. We might also take donations. If you do donate the podcast, we will definitely do soon. It'll be signed the scenes kind of stuff one way or another. I don't know what that look like yet, but it'll be additional content if you guys do want to support. It is not at all expected and we're just throwing that out there as an option and additionally with your user account which will allow you to comment on each episode and common amongst yourself on each episode. You also receive a. A badge, an extra name that will make it clear that you're a contributor to our podcasts. The one last thing I just wanted to say is what the common system. I'm also going to be implementing a content comment system that I think the internet for years should have been implementing and I'm not sure if you've ever been on Reddit, dot com or Facebook. They all do a single threaded system where someone posts something and you've got a whole bunch of sub replies and sub replies of sub replies on sub reply every syllable and you completely once get down to the bottom of. Like a Reddit post where you knows that you know thirty thousand messages just completely lost. Since my. Been my idea to do like an like a two D commenting system where you'll have you know instead of all the comments just being on the vertical, sub comments to each comment will actually run horizontally. So that way it's out of view and only if you want to look there will you have to look there. And this could very similar to. You know the way they're normal threaded would be, but it's more intuitive to know that you're. If you're. If you're going horizontal, that first one to the left is the one years you're you're replying to, rather than having to follow the line down vertically to figure out. Already do that with coding and it's annoying as hell. So this, I think is just going to be a lot easier to see. So anyways, and just can see, I'm proud about design. I'm also very proud of the website and more on that later. What inspired this ? But now you did a fantastic job and really really amazing job. And as I mentioned before, passwords have always been a problem for me and I think I come up with the best password. But then it's so good that in my mind anyway, probably isn't, but I can never remember it. And we're looking forward to a lot. Is your comments. That means a great deal to us because we want to be interactive with you. So what this means as well is that we're willing to take on any subject matter or topic that you're interested in talking about. Us talking about right now until we actually get to the point which we eventually want to be able to talk to you on the phone so that we can make this more interactive and you. Now, perhaps you can make your own comments during that time, which we're really looking forward to that, but definitely we're open for any suggestions because there's really nothing that I can think of outside the realm of anything that Zach would not and I would not be willing to talk about. And do you feel that way, Zach ? I do and can add something real quick to that chair and on the website. The next kind of goal is to get the contact form up, but also you will be able to comment on each episode as I was mentioning with what my mom's talking about and I don't know what we want to like. Greatest scripts has stretch goal for that you know, as far as. Or if we just we plan on doing anyways. But the bottom line is I'm thinking that maybe it could be something that will. You know whats we're at a certain threshold you might consider. You know, taking taking people live, you know, actually doing live versions and stuff is going to be a bit down the road. But just know that you know, if you support us that that that was worn, I'm going to be more likely to happen. Absolutely. And I just think it would be super cool. I mean, I love to. To learn about people. I love people in general and I love to learn about them. And I thought and I've. And I think that each individual has their own interesting characteristics about themselves. We wouldn't be doing this. I think if we didn't really like that in his act. Sad, that's not going to be happening for a while, obviously. But the more people that we get listening to us and the more that you guys listen and continue to listen to us, it'll give us the incentive. That's it. Couldn't find the word the incentive to move forward with being able to be more interactive with phone calls. So anyway, that's just kind of. Each week we're going to kind of update you where we're at. Because this is is in progress. Even though we've been thinking about it for a few years, actually starting it. We're finding that that is going to be a real gradual process and we're going to learn on along the way. So please let us know things that we can do that you'd like think would be improved, even improves our podcast. We're really open minded, constructive, and and it's it's. You know, we can handle critique. I mean critique as in Q U e dislike poly critique of polychromatic, right ? Clever, a clever. So you know what we can't say that we're against critique, but just but realize that we are. I have both me and my mom and and I get definitely from her, as you know, tend towards perfectionism. And so I just realized that if you do have something, you know critical to say, we're open to it. But but to try to give a positive spin about what you do like. So we also have good feedback, whether without, not just about the bad, and just enough to change the subject. But you know where LG is right now. Whereas she, she's right on my lap. She just wants to be a part of it. Yeah, so for those of you that are not aware when we need to introduce you and maybe we can post a picture on the website at some point. But LG is Lucy Girl, L Y and X i e g i r l C Girl. She is the most amazing cat. Not that I've had cats my whole life. She is the most loving and thoughtful and sweet and considerate cat I've ever seen in my life. She loves to be loved and she just loves to be next to someone. And she. The moment that gets done. Eating is just like right then and there. Clockwork clockwork. She's overs like sitting next to you, wanting to be next to you. She. Because she understands that while we're eating we have our space. She's very human like that she is. And she learned so fast she does. I mean we just tell her something and she's. She's amazing how quickly that she learns and tends to understand. Like when you say human like almost on a human level. Oh yeah. I mean, I think there's a person really. I mean, not not to be weird. I. I guess I'm just trying to say is our society usually looks at his animals and. And you know, my background, you know, pre - med, you know, with my major and whatnot. And you know they. They always said there was a mechanistic approach and when they gave an example of mechanistic approach. They talked about animals. Animals are like robots, and in physiology an a stork physiology mind they didn't see them is like having souls or having emotions. And although of course we know so much better than that. And I hope medicine does know much better than that. Even when it comes to animal research, that animals do have feelings, it's. It's not that they don't think that was just kind of convenience. Because a lot of what we have as humans is based on animal research and animal experimentation. And you know, if you take Tylenol, guess what ? You support animal research, whether you like to admit it or not, I don't want to think about that. Yep, so that's reason why if there is any animal research going on, it's got to be the best decisions are being made and nothing that puts animals in pain unnecessarily, etc. And that's the reason why there U S g p U S D a pain categories as you SDP categories even apply to research. So anyways, let's hold a whole nother topic for another time. But I thought tonight we might talk about procrastination because to be perfectly honest with you, may sound selfish, but I've been in the midst of it. Okay, yeah, and I'll tell you it's because many times I feel overwhelmed and procrastination, as you all know, is putting something off and not doing it. And might I might. Commonly, the common voice in my head of my prot thought process is, Yeah, I'll do it tomorrow. Tomorrow comes I'll say I'll do it the next day, but actually reading about it a little bit as to why that might be. It's about the reward system in the brain, so it's an immediate reward to just say Oh, okay, tomorrow versus rarely taking time to do it now. And you know, Zach, what happened was that I've only been working on. This. Says something that even making a phone call so silly. Yeah, I know that one. I know that one so well in. You know, it's so painful about it. When you finally get around to making that phone call, you get off the phone and you think how much better I feel. I have it on my list anymore and then also the other day. So I'm next week. Come and get an MRI done, right ? Yeah, it's just a follow up. It's not Amritsar, a city. You follow up C T scan, just the. Incidentally, the phone on my liver. Whatever. Bottom line is, I called to get that scheduled and I was like, oh, man this. I need to have some time to do this. Honestly, aside from the five minutes I was waiting on the phone to talk to someone, it only took a minute like two minutes. It was not a big deal at all. Phone calls are one of the easiest thing people. Just to let you know. You probably already know as well. But phone calls are one of the easiest things you can knock off your list. Usually if you're trying to call Comcast or certain people, maybe not. But true, although I will say much different than when I was growing up because we used to have live people answer the phone. Now you have a recording. Thought. Not a chance in hell of getting where you need be. The. The artificial intelligence. It's awful like a member will call Comcast to get things switched around and I had to call four or five times and that's. And I. It's miracle I even got through. And I truly mean that. And not even trying to be facetious when I say that is truly a miracle. I finally was able to talk to someone. It literally was trying to turn off the internet and turned back on even though I told them I was calling for customer service for a billing matter. They were going to go ahead and turn off the internet and turn it back on because they thought we had internet problem we've detected a problem unlike. Know I was yelling at the phone. Oh, I remember that day you were so frustrated. So that may be part of the reason why in the back of my head a phone call is not five minutes. Because I'm thinking how many channels to have to go through before I can actually talk to a human being, a human being that is going to be able to help me, or that I'm even going to be able to understand. And when I say that it's sometimes hard to understand people and that they have. That's coming in. And that is not a racial type of thing that I'm talking about. I'm just saying that in this day and age we have people working all over the world and sometimes that happens. And so I think that's part of the problem for me. Why even just a phone call ? Or better yet, if it's something that I'm calling about that I really need a lot of information about. Sometimes I'm told will know you've got to call this number or you gotta go through this channel. Says So I think that as we're speaking about that that could be part of my problem is because many times even though it seems logical, it'd be a five minute phone call, it can turn into an hour of your day. Well, and I agree, I think typically and not always, but typically, depending on the nature of the. And what are you trying to get done ? It's sometimes I'll often times for those long phone calls already know what I'm getting into before I call for those kind of calls versus like a call where I just need to set up an appointment. I'm saying like you know, for instance, if I'm calling because our internet is messed up and I'm having to call Comcast and work through that, I know that's going to be hell or my favorite. When can talk about real quick. What happened to us with Amazon ? See, the thing is, this podcast podcast almost didn't happen. Why didn't almost not happen ? Because Amazon screwed me or us collectively out of six hundred dollars and that's a whole nother matter. So by the way, just for the record, you never, never, never hand out or purchase Amazon gift cards for yourself or for loved ones. They have the right to close down your account. Lock it because they say there's quote unquote fraud. These were, these were not black market gift cards. I bought it right on my account and because of that they locked my account and they reverted my account before the gift cards were applied and they didn't refund the refund the money. And so now we're out six hundred bucks. So that's what would almost happen. Is this podcast and almost happened because of how upset we were. We spent a lot of money on this equipment. So and so anyways, as mentioned, people do not ever, ever, ever buy Visa gift cards or Amazon gift cards. If you want to give someone a gift, write them a check. Give them cash. Don't do the gift card thing. If you look in the fine print of gift card, you will find there's so much scam stuff. And Amazon. All these companies. They know that they can pull it because there's nothing to refund it to you. There's no card refund too. Well, and I think the other part of that is we looked it up and you would not believe. With Amazon, how many times has this happened and what ? Talking about a lot of money. Some people have been screwed out of ten, fifteen thousand dollars with this. Yes, literally. That night was a very trying time for us. I remember we were up till three o'clock in the morning. I called them several times trying to talk to someone and they kept giving us the same answer. We can't do anything about this. We have to take it to the fraudulent department. Well, turn it around. The other way because who's being fraudulent here ? You actually are using the Jet gift card and you are literally getting screwed out of them because they have a way of doing that. So it's like, honestly, we swallowed that and we said no, this is not going to blow our dream because this has been a big dream of ours. And then we have really, due to events in our life, not had Christmases for the past three years. Sweet, justified it that way because we wanted to do this that much. So Anyway, I started golf on the on the. You know what ? I think this is a very important message to our listeners. Because honestly, to the point of the last point I just wanna say is calling Amazon trying to get help on some things. That's one of those calls. They just want to say that, Lily, but I was just I was just gonna say I think that it's really important because you'll be hearing that on our podcast. If there's something that we're really aware of, we are really back is like, and you know that saying an apple doesn't far fall too far from the tree. That's where we are here because we both are about principle in life and justice and and fairness. And I dunno how that can be justified. But you just kind of have to let it. Go and not think of the money and think about the enjoyment of what we're doing. And we really had to give ourselves permission to do this because we had six hundred dollars towards us and it was like, Oh man, this is. This really sucks. But you know what ? We were determined and I'm glad we did. So here we are today. Yep, Okay, so the topic now to revisit where we already talked about a. So, the phone calls, right ? The phone calls is an example of something that compress protocol perks, rather something we can procrastinate on. And and, you know, I don't know there. It's very individualized. What would compress the. I can't say that word for some reason to procrastinate, craft, procrastinate, we need all of a sudden. You get, I know I've never had a. I've never seen you tongue tied. Well, maybe a few occasions, but not very often. You know, another big one that people do with procrastination that I know is exercise. Especially when you're starting out. Oh, yeah, you know, be in in what they say about exercising. It's the same thing with anything in the brain. They say that it's the. You've heard of this before, right ? It's the executive lerner vs. The the little. So there's a little child and an adult in our brain. They're basically to. You know, Jacqueline hired just joking. There's a. There are two different types of people in our brain. There's the. The. The little kid who's basically our ID. Once insta gratification is going to go for what's the easiest to get done. So now I'm being the little kid with my last nation. Thank you, because that really helps me grow up. Yeah, But then there's also the super ego, you know, that the. That's above the ID that that understands that's able to do executive function. But it's so much more difficult. And so I think it's just by design. You know, as humans, we want the path of least resistance. So the path of least resistance is to. To avoid doing it. But in the long run, it saves us so much hassle because we're not carrying that baggage around all day of thinking. Oh my god, I didn't get around to this thinking around this Newmont. My list looks like right now on the topic. I've got a lot of things I need to get done in the next month. And if I don't make a list. So let's actually talk about that, what are some good strategies. I think lists are great. Lists are great, and actually that they're part of the reason we were talking about this is because I really need to work on my procrastination. Selfish as it may be, but also thinking a lot of you might be dealing with this. So some of the things like what you said, Zach, making a list. That's a great one. Because they say not to put more than six items on a list and do it the day before. Yeah, because you don't want to make it overwhelming. Because then for sure you're going to give up six items. And then as you get done with each thing, can cross it off your lesson. And if you don't get it done that day, you just put it on the next day. So in other words, that night, maybe you put only five items for the next day because you have one carried over from the day before. That's true, but if you're not careful, that could become correct procrastination and self. Oh my gosh, dropping dropping one thing from one list to another. But no, I know what you're saying in principle and I'm just giving you a hard time. But but in the extreme sense, you're going to have a list. But if you don't complete anything on the list. You're just giving yourself an anxiety attack when you know what. True. They also talk about visual cues, cues and one suggestion that I read about it, You can actually take a jar paper clips, and each time you complete something, put that in an empty jar and pretty soon you're going to see that empty jar feeling up in the jar that you started with getting smaller and smaller. And as that jar fills up, you're going to go. Well, I'm getting a lot done. I'm so proud of myself. You know, when I need. I think I really need that visual one sack because I'm kind of a visual person. You know what I think I might do though I came up with a really good idea for talking. I think. Yeah, Have you ever seen those little stones that are see through that are really smooth on the outside ? There actually are they moonstones ? Yeah, I think they're called moonstones. Yeah, I'm pretty. I'm thinking because I love things that are colourful that that would also be really nice to me. Paper clips kind of boring to me. So I'm thinking if I I took something colourful and had that talk with it even be really really pretty. And then I think if I were to set those in the sun, Oh, I think it would make kind of a prism as the sun shines off of those little moonstones. Yeah, you know, I always as a kid thought prisms were amazing. And I think my first ever realization of a prism before I even saw a prison would have been stained glass. How light shining through stained glass and you get some really amazing riff refraction. What weekends ? Because I love antiques. Poor kids had to put up with that his whole life. But I think he's adjusted. But when he was a kid with my stained glass, he loved to look at the prisms on the. On the hardwood floors because you could really seem on the hardwood floor. Yeah, And so you know it's pretty cool to hear you talk about that because you used to love that. And here you are all growing up and saying that was really cool. So this really helps. Because a lot of times I'm not sure he understood all of my antique collecting. I am, you know that I did. But anyway, back to the prism thing. I've always thought prisons are so cool because to me as I was speaking about colorful things, you know, to have some like a crystal. I mean, I call a prism sort of like a crystal. How that can from the sun create that all are full. Different colors there are. Yeah, And so I know we're kind of taking this further than talking about Quest Nation. But that's just the way that we. We roll. Number one and number two is going back to what I saying about the Moonstone Rocks. Don't you love that idea ? Yeah, I do. And I just wanted to hit on something. Yeah, I think on this episode I think we're due some procrastination. Oh my god, procrastinating on on procrastination. We are. Zach, you caught me. I'm. I got this. See, Yeah, we're. We're. We're avoiding the subject here. Okay, so you didn't admit. And I'm sorry to make you do this with all our listeners. Yeah, do you procrastinate ? I was saying how bad I am. Crafts donate. I do. I do. You know one thing I will say though, that I've noticed I'm a lot better about his. I mean, while. First, let me just say something. Okay, cause this isn't for I don't know is it. Is it clean enough to be here ? This is okay. Guess not bad. What I've noticed, at least for me. Okay, and I don't know how other people work. And I know I sound very entitled when I say that. But I do think that I. And maybe it's just a part of the human condition. And we all have it and I just feel like I'm special over. I feel like my mom and our special here with this. But I think when you and your life commands so much of yourself, you have such a high standard of yourself. The advantage to that is you've heard this phrase fashionably late. Okay, you've heard I think there's fashionably procrastinating. Okay, And when I say that is, it's almost like you doing with some style. Okay, And what do I mean by style ? I mean, in other words, I might be worrying about something, but am I actually in trouble territory yet ? No, I think so. Hartford and Vance. And a worry about it for such a long period of time that by the time I do it, I'm still in the clear. Not not always but but but quite often. So when I'm making my list, I'm like, I gotta do this like I'm thinking usually about a month to six weeks out, right ? There's certain things I definitely have to get to. And what's great for me at least is what I procrastinate if I hit the red zone, which is right before I usually go into was called quote unquote axe mode. Okay, what's your red zone ? For God's sake, Red zone is where I'm running out of time to do something is like the last days or less hours of work. Best with that. Yeah, exactly. It's a motivator. So I go into axe mode and I just start pow pow pow pow pow. So if I win, it's procrastination mode. Okay, I then then over over swing my pendulum into axe mode. Okay, and I start axing all the stuff off my list and it can be very productive in in short bursts like that. So that's usually what happens for me is like I said I'm. I'm especially sensitive to not wanting to mess up and that sort of thing. So yet I comes from that place of. Of worrying the back of my mind. So I will say, generally speaking, when it comes to procrastinating once. Have actually gotten in the right mood or the right state to do things. And that's the worst part about procrastination is you tell yourself you have to be in the right state to get something done in. That's true with writing in some things, but it's complete BS. You can put yourself in the. In the in the right state to get anything done just because it's just. Especially if it's nothing. Performance on completing the taxes the task. It's not like you're having to write a book or something. But you're just trying to complete tasks like clean the kitchen. I mean, that's brainless. You don't have to write a symphony out of that or right. You know, the. You know, prepared a proposal you try to get, you know, you know, accepted for, you know, Grant, or something so well, God forbid, I'm right along with you with. If we don't get something done, that has to be. That's when it's time to beat up myself. Because I had plenty of time to do it. And here I am. And I deserve the consequences from it. And that just goes on and on. So the problem is is that starting with procrastination, it can go all different places. But when you are perfectionist and both Zach and I are perfectionistic people that really want to do the best at everything. We do realize we're not perfect. We don't think we're above others, it's just our own expectations about ourselves. We really are the hardest on ourselves when we don't. But it's interesting because I think that I wonder if because we are such perfectionists, that in the. In the case, if there's something that needs to be finished up. If the reason why we do so well with that is because we know how we're going to feel if we don't complete it. Because that's the best of the two. Because yeah, I think it's a cost to benefit ratio, pro vs. Cons to cancellation. Yeah, but I was going to say back to what you were just saying a second ago and with the Oh my god, what was I going to say, lost it. I was going to say you were talking about procrastination, perfectionism, procrastination we're talking about now. Shoot, It left me just that quick. Off to think of something to add and hopefully come back to you that you know what I end up doing to myself is overwhelmed. Yeah, and then I become so nonfunctional because I'm overwhelmed. I mean you guys, this is just a vicious circle. Then you become overwhelmed which makes me less functional. And then I get into this mode of like, oh, this is going to take me forever. And honestly, I really have thought about it this way. Another way to deal with procrastination or overwhelm. I think these kind of criss cross or overlap in that in this case is to think of taking a piece of the pie because I just tend to have high expectations, which may be part of perfectionism. Think it is higher expectations of myself than a lot of people do, and therefore I tend to believe that I can maybe accomplish something faster than I can, making it non realistic to what it. To the perspective of whatever it is. Me, and to explain that further to make it an. People understand is that for the most part, if I tend to take on more than I can handle, I don't want to fail at not handling it. So that creates overwhelm. And then I get mad at myself because why did I plan so much or why did I not give myself enough time to do it ? And as Zach said, I met the. And just trying to. To make it to the finish line before the date of when something's do and it's a con. It's kind of a constant battle. I mean, actually, when we're talking about this little bit of anxiety about this and you know, Zach, I, I love that we are. We're tending to kind of sway away from our topic here by talking about other things. But you know, we gotta keep each other right on this topic. Because if we're really gonna work on this. So those are a couple things that I. They the paper clips, which I'm going to use. The little moon rocks because I think that's kind of cool idea. And I'm going to try the list idea. Those two I'm going to try cit this week to see if I can do better. And you know, now I kind of feel like I'm on the spot because we've got these listeners and then I know each we. Well, we're probably going to be doing podcasts more than each week. So that's why I stopped myself in the midst of that. We're hoping to do a couple a week. That's because we're having so much fun with it. But nonetheless, I feel like I have to report back because we usually review what the last podcast was about. So now, hey, guess what kind of making myself have to work on this because I'm going to have to look at this. And if I'm too. And honest to myself and I want to be true and honest to our audience, I think this is actually good. I'm just thinking that I kind of like I'm talking about this because I feel like the. Hold yourself more accountable. Yes, the accountability is much higher. What are you thinking you might do for you ? Prepare that procrastination you come up with any ideas ? No. I. You know what's weird is after I forgot that my brain just has kind of gone dead. I don't know what I'm trying to think about. What I was going to say about that. But to answer your question, it was, I think something related to what you're asking. Strategies to help with procrastination. And like I said, like I said for me, I, I will. I will oscillate between doing nothing and then doing a ton of things going into quote unquote. Why call axe mode and sexual my brother would call that mode has axe mode and especially when it came to cleaning that sort of thing. So it's just kind of. You know when you reach a point where you get so sick of it that you do it. Or you reach a point where you know you're not just sick of it, but you're. You're reaching that deadline where you really have to get it done. But for me, it's usually I feel so much better once I get something knocked off the list just because I don't have to think about it anymore. And it can kind of hot. My memories haunt my dreams and haunt my thoughts if I'm not careful, depending on what it is. You know, like I. I. Biggest thing I I can remember is when I was in school and I'd have like a paper due or something like that. You know, and in the lead - up, you know you keep running out of time, you know you've got other things you're working on for classes, and you've got multiple bosses. You will, basically, you know, and it it starts to feel kind of crazy. But one thing I will say is when I do complete work, or when I do complete tasks. Of course, I'm one of those human beings that gets a good, natural, natural dopamine rush, you know, from completing things when doing good work. And I remember what I was going to say, Hey, I love it. I love it. I knew I'd come back. I was just going to say to you, You were talking about us and I can't remember the exact details. But I was just going to say, Oh, I know what it was about. Entitlement is even though we're perfectionists, perfectionists, whereas we don't put ourselves up against other people, you know, And even though this sometimes happens to us where we have, you know, coworker, coworkers or something, or people that say Oh, you're just trying to make me look bad. Or they get jealous and they're trying to compete with us. What they fail to understand, OK, but they fail to understand is that none of that. It's all and trained and passion. You know, when you're passionate about something, it's more than just a job. It's more than you know. And that's how it was for me. You know, with any of my jobs, you know, I. I usually get along really well with people, but so anyways, I just want to add that real quick before I forgot. But on the topic, you know, I find the thing that makes procrastination less difficult. And what makes it easier to get things done. It's like you're saying is to take a piece of the pie to take a smaller bit. Event and to get it done intersects. You know, people don't like this because they're like, oh god said distrust distrust to it. But set goals and we say circles. You can set loose or very. Titles, but make the goals realistic. Don't say I'm going to get ten things crossed off my list today. Because life comes up. You have a job, you've got other commitments, but if you can commit to say I'm going to get something done, one one thing done and the next one or two days, or one to three days, that's very doable. You know, it's just about eating out of your head about how unpleasant it's going to be to get it done. And sometimes you actually be surprised is actually not that big of a deal. The other last bit of what happens with procrastination is get rid of the distractions. Distractions are a big part of why we can't get things done more than anything if you have a TV, if you have a computer, etc. Sometimes it involves changing your environment to get it done. That totally makes sense. And also, you know, when we talk about the reward part of our portion of our brain, the immediate reward with putting something off, we'll think of something we'd rather to, you know, like instead, I'll say all I could do that tomorrow. But hey, I think I'm gonna call. See my horse. Well, what would I rather do ? What I'd rather make a phone call to pay a bill or air to go see my horse. I think it's pretty clear which of the two I would prefer the other things. AK, I just want to touch upon because I may forget which you talked about. I think it's really important to. Because you know, we don't know each day what's going to happen. So when we make that list of what we're going to do the next day, we have to be patient. We have to be realistic. That's a big word for me. Realistic and give ourselves some grace because something could happen at work that we don't even expect. We might have to put in a longer day. We may have to. And you know, when that cookie just kind of have to go with the flow, so to speak. Because sometimes those things happen. And so, instead of taking the guilt or blaming oneself because they didn't accomplish what they had planned on, I think it's. I think that's really really true and very good point, that there's things that we have no control of around us that are going to get what we may get involved in that we didn't count on. Well, and you know, sometimes it's ourselves that get in the way of ourselves. We don't even realize I did want to say Don't interrupt. Am I going to say something ? I was okay. I was going to say the other thing you have to ask yourself and don't ask yourself this in a way to truly make yourself feel guilty. Okay, it depends if you're one of the kind of people that actually genuinely feels good when you're productive that you have to ask yourself sometimes what is the cost versus the benefits of being productive versus not being productive versus watching the movie, you know, playing the game, surfing Facebook, etc. I'm not saying I've not spent an entire book on the tire book. Entire day reading a book, or entire day reading Facebook or something like that. But generally speaking, the times I've been happiest in my life is when there's been a basal level of stress said with my job. But the trade off is at the end of the day. I felt so productive. I felt like I got so much done. I was. Felt so accomplished and so proud of myself. And that's the other part is some people have difficulty being proud of themselves. And part of that, I think comes down to their attitude about work and the way they see it. For me, a job is not just a job. When I apply myself to place, it's a passion. And I try to learn as much as I can about it. And so I think that's part of it, as it depends on how you apply yourself right. If you apply yourself just hating every single moment of it and not putting you're. You're not putting your drive into it, then you're. You're not gonna get any pleasure out of it. And maybe you all the more wanna hate it. You know, all the war more and I'm not. I realize not every single task is going to be everyone's, you know, favorite thing to do anyways. I did want to say we can transition to overwhelm if you're ready. Absolutely. They just had one more thing that I wanted to say is that way. When you mentioned earlier about getting when you when you are on fire, what do you call that your Axe mode X mode when you're in axe mode ? I've seen you and man, it's incredible. Because it's actually when I. Sometimes I achieve a flow state with the two. Yeah, just saw what I was going to mention in connection with that. Sometimes I think if a person just starts doing something, I wanted to go ahead and maybe start a. Cleaning my room up and say, OK, I'm taking ten minutes to do this. I'll tell you what once I get started, it doesn't even seem that painful. Yeah, and you know what, you're totally right. It's like that working out the first fifteen minutes are. Helen, you're asking yourself, Why am I doing it ? I'd rather be doing this. I hate this. Why am I torturing myself ? But once you get past that, fifteen minutes is not that big of a deal. No, really true. So you know that I think in itself is a really good idea too is to just say, Okay, I'll do this for ten minutes. What's ten minutes is no time writing. I mean ten minutes. Especially. I'm comparing it to if I get on my computer and get on the internet. Come on, I can be on there two hours and. Thing. Only ten minutes has passed and you can use strategies to make what you're doing more tolerable. Yes, in other words, all boy were on the same. I dunno. Or we have a real brain connect, right ? Of course we complete each other's sentences all the time. Basically the same person. Yeah, I know that. I think they've already probably figured that one out. But what I was going to say is that, hey, how about when you're cleaning it ? Turn on some music. Exactly. That's exactly where I was gone. Or you're at work if your job permits you to like. For me when I would work in the lab, I pop on those headphones and I'd be processing DNA samples and doing gel electrophoresis and taking images of gels and putting the results in a database and be able to use my hands to. There is something about using my hands, not just my brain, but using a combination. Me, using my hands and using my brain. Critical thinking while while using my hands, and just a nice balance of the two. Nice balance also being physically active with also. Lot of time, you know, I'd say probably about forty percent of the time. Forty to fifty percent of the time sitting and forty fifty percent of the time I'm standing and moving around. That's another thing to. To get off subject, but I find that is so much easier. Think and I dunno, converse, etc. Like if I'm trying to think. Card or whatever when I'm up and moving around in the blood is flowing to my brain for sure. And you know what ? There's something to at the end when we complete something, It's that sense of productivity or the sense that you have been productive, a sense of release, a sense of relief and a sense of them. You can laugh all you want because it depends on what the list is, but a sense of pride. You're productive and you got something done. You're not completely useless, right ? Yes, absolutely. I totally agree. So you know you wanted to go into overwhelm and you know the perfect bridge for it. Whenever you. You just go for it then. Okay. So I was asking my mom if she knew what I was talking about with this. And of course she does. She does because I know her and I are very alike when it comes down to. Is in the deepest form. What happens is you go from being a procrastinating on things partially out of anxiety, right ? Sometimes from anxiety because you just want to have. Avoid the anxiety of feeling a weight in order to do something cause you're wanting to put off trying to avoid something. So if there's some anxiety and that anxiety does to lead, tend to leave to overwhelm. But there's this other thing that happens. This other thing that happens is sometimes it can distort our sense of reality. So with example, I was going to say is when I was a student, poor, poor student, cause you Boulder, you know. And even when I went to Front Range Community College, I did not work. When I was at school. In school I did the the the student loans and grant route. And so what I would do is I would say see my car broke down. Okay, it broke and I don't know why it's not starting up. I don't know anything about what's wrong in all, my brain immediately classifies the situation as car doesn't work. Cars broken car will always be broken. There's no way to fix car it. Thus, this is my mind. That is the deepest sense of overwhelm. Because you realize I didn't even spend the effort to take it to a mechanic to find out what's wrong in my mind. I already have the cars totaled and furthermore, I don't have it in my mind now just because I don't have the money but don't even sense that paying someone money to put into the car would fix it. You know, that's like a distortion. I do exactly the same thing. We get distorted into thinking the worst. Yes, exactly. So like if something's really dirty, it's broken even though if you were to clean it, it's brand new. I wonder if our perfectionism has something to do. So because we don't like when things are bad. You know, I think No, we don't like when things are bad. And I think when we can. When we think about making things perfect, think about this. It's harder for us because we strive to the highest degree possible, rather than just accepting that it's okay at a lower level. Yeah, that's tough. I mean, I work on perfectionism every single day. And that perfectionism leads a lot to my overwhelm. Because, like at work. Okay, it's. It's a nonstop day from the day that I get there. We're meeting with clients and my case management work and everything. And I have in my mind at the beginning of the day in addition to the basic job I do. And things may be that I need to take care for that day. I'll maybe have some of the. I may have additional few things I've said. Oh, and I'd like to finish this today. You know, like when I talked earlier about not being really realistic about my time because I think oh yeah, unit perfection isn't bad. And you actually have an aunt actually end up overcoming which causes its own set of of of strength stress. It's it. You know what ? You're not as productive because I'm so darn overwhelmed again. I cannot be as so. You know what ? I'm gradually learning and it's hard because I still have to give myself permission for this. Guess what if I don't finish everything I plan on doing that day ? It's okay. You're going to come in. The next day is still going to be there. And you know what with my job and lab. When I became a lab manager and I started doing all that work full - time from part - time, I did the same thing. I realized I couldn't get all these samples processed in a day. I wanted to because it was stressful to think I had things sitting in the oven, the incubator, and I had to come back tomorrow and work on them. But you have to kind of let things go. And I was just gonna say that phenomenon or that phenomena. I guess this phenomenon phenomenon. I would call it as as an all or nothing mentality, right ? Oh, I love it for sure. It's like I can either be this or it's. There's nothing. I love that because I think that is right to the point. In other words, even if I work really hard all day because I didn't finish everything. What you know what, I didn't do a good job because I won't take in consideration how much stuff I've done. I'm looking at the stuff I didn't do. Yeah, exactly. And as humans, we do have a preoccupation with focusing on the negative rather than positive. We will pay attention that one negative thing in. And let the. You know the ten positive things we heard a roll off of our shoulders and as also going to say in addition to perfectionism also. Or you would know all about this solitude. Go off on your. On a on a tangent about this. I think people that are highly sensitive are. Tend to be even more impacted by the overwhelm of life and the overwhelm of activities. And you know, in the midst of. Of. Of multitasking and all that, because there's so much more, there's so many more neurons essentially wired from the outside into the inside that just tend to feel a lot more of that. Don't even get me started. This is a topic that literally when I found out in a research study that I did when I was in college that am a highly sensitive person. Yet I realized there was something that identified me for who I am. And I'm asking Zack if we can do one podcast about it. Because honestly, it's fascinating. I know for my patients and clients in the past it has made a world of difference. And honestly, for mental health and chemical dependency people. Most of them are highly sensitive people. And I. I mean, I really would like to focus a full podcast on this because I think there are many of you, especially if you really like. What do you mean by you ? Many of our listeners, Oh, okay, many of our listeners that if you be late and like to listen to Zach and I with our podcast, you're probably quite similar. Tests became cause we are kind of eclectic and different and we kinda speak a different language because there is supposed to be fifteen to twenty per cent of the population that are highly sensitive people. I can only tell you that in my work people that have really discovered this about themselves, it's really helped them understand themselves so much better than they ever did. Because highly sensitive people have a harder time relating to other people. And it's because we process things much differently. We have like five filters in our brain and we go tend to go into things when we talk about them in depth. And you can see Zach and I. With our podcast, we bring every angle, I'll almost everything into the subject matter. We can. Because that's the way our brain goes and will not like reading material off anything. It's just our brain will say, Oh yeah, I can connect this to that and this. That. That is typical of highly sensitive people. So I'm hoping in the next future weeks that I. Man, I could take this one for two hours because I'm so passionate about it. But yeah, you're really introduced that topic very well. Because I'm telling you, Zach, it's. It changed my own life to have a better understanding of who I was. And that Hailey says being a highly sensitive person is actually a gift. It's. It's a beautiful gift. And I. It totally explains who I am. And I have a better understanding of why I think a certain way, why do things the way I do, and the type of people I relate to the best. So anyway, I think our listeners may want to learn about that, especially if they enjoy listening to us. I'm just saying so. I dunno if I can ask you to commit right now, but I'm. I'm going to. I'm going to ask you to commit that to me right now while we're listeners are listening to us so that we can do it. Do what now ? I'm sorry, I don't understand. Do a podcast about highly sensitive. Okay, yeah, yeah, are you cool about that ? Yeah, we can do that. Okay. Hey, Listen, he just like getting on with it. But anyway, no, he. He means that It's just that we think we are doing an emotional intelligence too. Even though that's kind of less of a thing. I think people are more aware of emotional intelligence is. But emotional intelligence. Twenty years ago you wouldn't. People didn't know what that was, but that goes along along with it in a way. Yeah, because you know what it is is. It's. Impart a former self regulation. EU, no understanding and knowing about it is in part, you know the. The. Another words, you can take a weakness, enter into a strength. Potentially because even though it's a gift and it's a double edged sword of a gift, if you know how to leverage it the right way, you. It's actually it's what can be said about a lot of them. We don't come. Disability. I guess we'd rather call them abilities that people have. You know, we're even changing that up. We're not seeing a person with a disability. Got a disability. They've got different ability. Or they've got no other ability. Oh, I totally agree. I like. Last our first podcast I was talking about how I don't like labels and I don't like me either. That's the reason why I love the church we go to. Yeah, I know it's awesome. No labels. It's. It's all about no labels some time. Oh, well, I'll tell you what they say. Began before the sermon begins. It's pretty amazing. But it's actually the way I feel and. And labeling to me as judgmental. And you know, I'd rather harmful. Very harmful. If I can't relate to someone that is totally okay. I'm just different than that other person. That doesn't mean that a person's a bad person. Doesn't mean that I'm a bad person. Instead, we are all just different people in a way. There's beauty to that because it'd be very boring in this world if we all the same. Because, Yeah, right. I was going to say look at the boys situation. Why are bullies so mean ? You know what ? They are often the ones projecting their insecurities and on to the people that they. That the torture. And what's funny is it's a huge statement about the bully, right ? People can be happy running around with kids, but they all it takes is a boy to tick them off to the side and make fun of them or to beat the crap out of them or whatever. And what's funny is those boys if they're forced to take their mess and they can't stand it, you know what they do it because like you said, they feel very insecure and actually the people that they're. They're bullying. There may even be a form of jealousy, but they're projecting their own insufficient feelings about themselves onto others. And I didn't even mention this to you. This is kind of just like I'm going to just bring it up briefly. I was really sad this morning. I don't listen to the news you guys, because it just as pointless if you know what. There is so much negativity if you let the media control your window into the world in a realistic window window. The world for a lot of people, they rely on it. It's. It's harmful. It's your udall frame. The rest of the day is negative. The rest of your week is negative. In all they talk about negative shit. Well, and the problem is I really feel this stuff because highly sensitive nemo fill other people and feel the weight of the world with. It's like atlas. You feel the weight of the world on your shoulders in addition to your own weights of your own stuff in your life. I mean, I don't have all the facts before me, but does it really need to be where it was or anything like that ? It's just. But this did happen on February third and this fourteen year old girl was attacked by students at the school and beat up. And I guess they tried to seek help outside by going to the police and to the school and no one really stepped in. According to what I was reading. And the father's livid because his daughter died of suicide. I believe it was on the. Maybe it was on the third that she died of suicide. Binay my job recently. That's like the ultimate form of overwhelm right there. Oh my god. I'm like when I read that this morning and I just came across it like I'm looking for a pair of boots to ride to. To you to use when I ride my horse. My boots are no good anymore. The ones I have. I mean, the zippers dozens upon him. I'm very frustrated. That's another subject, but I happened to see that. Caught my eye and of course, when it cut my. I'm going oh my God, this sounds terrible. So then I'm somewhat night intrigued isn't the word. But I want more information because that's just kind of the way my mind is. And then when I read about it, it just was heartbreaking. Because she's beautiful, beautiful young woman who didn't deserve this. And it's. It's sheer horror these days because all the social media that's out there. What people will too. I think they posted some. Some kid actually videoed the attack in the school and then they posted it so went everywhere. So this girl's feeling like oh my god, every once watched me get beat up. I mean, it's not just the kids in the school and celebrate the world as like I'm going. How does a fourteen year old handle that ? And then when she tells her parents and they're reaching out for help and nobody does anything, I'm thinking I'm becoming very angry inside. Like I could just feel my own anger building up in my own sadness for that family. Because how unfair is this ? Well, and not to get off on another subject cause I could talk on a whole nother episode about the state of the world and how things have changed so much. And. But you know, what's sad is I think as a millennial generation is a generation X projects are generation Z. I can't remember. I'm a millennial to, you know, Amazon, are you ? I'm a X Y chromosome. I think last I checked, Okay, good. Since you're talking about X and Y, I just thought I'd throw that one in. Yeah, I'm trying to remember that these are all marketing terms. By the way, there's nothing really scientific, you know ? But. But I was born in the mid eighties, so I'm a baby boomer. Yup. Well, that's a big deal. I grew up in a really cool time. Anyway, you go ahead because I don't want to interrupt you. I'm working on that. Okay, So anyways, and what I was going to say is talking about your. What's your considered your age as and then you were going to go into it. I think I was just gonna say that I feel really bad for kids nowadays because as like the last generation, that and my younger childhood did not know what the internet was around. I was also the last generation that realized I do not need validation and I was very depressed in high school. I do not need validation from other people on social media, you know, or my peers, but especially on social media. To know that I am wanted or loved or desired, or to find myself because of the coming whole coming of age story for so many kids and we all have to go through it. Sorry about that, it's. It's a story of a rite of passage. In that rite of passage is about realizing who you are, finding your own self - worth, not looking for that self worth in an external spot. And unfortunately, with the kids of today, they do that. And the problem is if bowling and other things are involved. So you know, if you want to talk about overwhelm, I think kids in today's world, or silverware, they even had to deal with a pandemic. This could be it's an episode like. Yeah, but anyways, let's really hit head on over one because we've been really skirting at overwhelm since we've switched over to the topic of overwhelm. When his overwhelm. Once you can you look up the definition wall. I seem a little bit. I share a matter of me overwhelm his men. There's a mismatch between. And there's a mismatch between what we think we can handle and what's actually happening. While you know what, I got the definition. What is it all right ? Past tenses and and past past participle, past participle, participles, sorry. It means bury or drown beneath a huge mass. And that's exactly how. Isn't that amazing how it's an analogy. It's it's ugh or defeat completely. Yeah, give too much of a thing to someone inundate. So basically o inundate them. Yeah, yes. So basically what ? It's about becoming inundated. Yes, and oh my god, that first time barrier drown beneath a huge mass. That one is. I think that's a great description. Rates pictorial way of really getting a cross in the words they use really really put the picture in my mind. Well, you get this visual, don't you ? Because I think about when I felt claustrophobic. Oh my god. What I feel like when I'm overwhelmed is that I cannot even function because I almost feel paralyzed in it. So my dad like a paralysis going on where I'm going to need so much energy to be able to accomplish anything. Because maybe I don't know where to start. So hey, that's where the list may come in. When I was talking about procrastination may be making a list button overwhelm is almost like you. I love this too. They say that you over. Yeah, the water the water flowed through to overwhelm the whole damn in the village beneath. I before even mentioned the damn. I picture someone water in like a boat that is filling it with water. Oh yeah, that's like overwhelm. And I know when I was in highschool I dealt with depression. I definitely know in the deepest sense of what overwhelm is. Overwhelm is. I think it's some form of depression. I mean this in the most extreme cases because you are having to come up with something for which you. Question if you'll be able to swim. The question if you'll be able to make it through it. And so the reason why give the example I did with a car is it may even lead you down to into believing things that are are are are patently false. Something that's that's not even true, you know is because a car's broken down doesn't mean that it's not going to be able to be fixed. If something's broken, does it mean it's permanently broken ? Know these are. These are our beliefs that we come up with ourselves and if we're not careful, we don't really realize. You know what we're looking at with that. So true. And again, you know I mentioned the word distortions. Yeah, it's cognitive distortions that people have. I think most every every living human being has them. Yeah, but how far it goes ? Like there's some people that can just go quite simply up. I gotta get my car into the shop. But then again, we break everything down. I tell you we're highly sensitive people that are really detailed. And this is another good example. When I think about a car breaking down, I'm thinking, Oh my God, how am I going to get to work ? And like you said, it's never going to get fixed. And then besides that, how much is it going to cost ? Yeah. And I was also going to say with the overwhelm, it's also about a sense of losing control. That's the biggest thing for me. I do not like to be out of control, even though I cognitively understand none of us have control. Really. Truly, you know, what's funny is we don't have control over our lives. Really. It's all a lot of it's based on. Look, Yet, you know what I do get the fact that I do not have control. And I can say that. And I know that in my God. But there's something about wanting to hang on to that aspect of feeling like you have control that makes you feel secure. But it's just another distortion there. Because you know what, we don't. The only thing we really have control over is our behavior. The way we treat people are our responses to press a stressful situation. Weed me off control for situation. But we do have control over the way we react to those situations. You got it right on. But we can't help many things that happen. And sometimes his life. And we are the people that we. You. We may eventually tell you over the course of our podcast selectively. But my mom and I. We know firsthand what losses, we know what overwhelm and procrastination and all these kinds of things are because we've lived them. Not. And not because we lost a job, not because we didn't get our way about something, but because of things completely out of our hands. Where we've experienced death, we've experienced disease, we've experienced all of it. Yeah, we have. And a lot of grief. A lot of grief lottery from the past couple of years, especially a lot of trauma. A lot of things that some listeners may be able to relate to. Some of it. But it's pretty extreme. And when I say that, please understand one thing, Zach and I are survivors. They're not victims. We never feel sorry for ourselves. We just. We hardly ever talk about it. Really. No. Well, you know, it's true. We don't. And that's why when Zach said, Well, if we ever do. But I think as we get you get to know us and we have this listeners that follow us. I think that will probably want to become more personal about this. Because you know, I think that in many ways if we were to do that it would. There would be a deeper connection. Ah, for some of you that have maybe experienced similar things, not exactly the same story, but similar grief for similar events in your life. And basically they change you forever. And is that a bad thing ? Not necessarily. That's not necessarily a bad thing. But I will say this is that no matter how much it hurts, no matter how much you bargain in your mind, that you wish it was different, life is what it is. And many times there's nothing in what we. Nothing we can do to change it. It just is. And that's one of the things I tell myself. This is what it is. It just is. Because there's nothing I could have ever done to change the outcome of things that happen. So when we talk about procrastination and overwhelm like SAC was mentioning, I'm just reaffirming this. There's a real reason why we're doing this because. And I understand why Zach and I probably do this in. Generally in general, even more than other people because when you're not functioning well, you just have only so much energy to do. So much. So. You know, Zach, the overwhelm and procrastination factors been really big. And I like you said you now, particularly after the past couple of years. Extremely sell because of certain events. But I just. You know the thing I love about you and I and I do mean this, We don't give up. We're determined. We want to be the best we can. We want to make our own difference in this world by trying to do the best we can. By being kind to others, by not putting us up on a pedestal. I'm being very genuine about this about taking the hard times we've had and turning it into making ourselves better. Because when you go through these times, you change and you have to reinvent who you are. Because grief changes people, especially with the loss of a loved one. You're no longer that person because you've lost a part of yourself when that person left. And there's also a part of them that still lives inside your heart and your mind. And so lately was going to say, I watched this documentary on mushrooms and by the way, mushrooms are amazing. The fact that these mushrooms are connected in the root structure to all these trees. It's like this. I think they said it's one of the largest living land organism masses on the planet. I can't remember where it was, but one of these force has this intricate, you know, mushroom structure, you know, underneath it. I can't remember what is off the top of my head. But anyways, the reason why I mentioned this is in this documentary. This guy goes from working in I. T. Information technology and he goes through a life altering situation with his health. And I love what he said. He said it really well. He said I had to reinvent myself and I love how he said that. Cause, you know, I really spoke to me as a person because I did the same thing. My mom did the same thing after all these things happen to us. And with that reinvention also comes a word that I don't use after all that often. But I try to use it more now that I've been thinking about for the past couple years is called transformation. The thing is this, we live on this planet, right in his seemingly absurd and chaotic and just everything seems like it's. You know, you look at the full degree of everything moving around on the planet. Everything that's happening seemed almost like pure utter chaos. But at the end of the day, how we respond to things. How, respond to those challenges the fact that we choose over death, life and transformation and we allow things to change us, not not to. Changes our hearts in a deep bad way, but to be willing to understand life is not going to be the same and to take on a different form. These are, on average people, you know, change their circumstances, change, they changes people overall once every seven years. I truly believe in that cause. Every seven years I'm find myself in a completely different circumstance, whether it's job, whether it's health, whether we, whatever you know, living situation, etc. Etc. So anyways, I was just going to say that for me, that transformation is in choosing. Deciding that that's what you're actually wanting to do rather than to give up. And so on paper. It reads well, like for the purpose of being optimistic and for the purpose of being an inspirational. But even though it reads that way, sometimes people, I think, read that and they think, oh, someone's just trying to like, make themselves look really, really good. They have not walked themselves to even understand what that's like. They could just really be me from the heart that it was transformative, not that they. They've wear like a badge. They might not even talk about that much, you know, Well, to be honest with USAC, you are my inspiration. Oh, and you're my hero. I'm going to say that you have taught me so much about life and in this world. And I'm so lucky to have you considering things you've gone through and are only grateful to God for that. Because I'm not having you in my life. I cannot imagine not having this time with you. It's the most precious, precious time with you and me right now. Because after my move back from California a little over a year ago and we were apart for almost thirteen years and to be able to be back together with you is just. You're such a delight. Oh wow ! I'm so super proud of the young man you have growing into. And your courage and your bravery that I've watched go through in your life is a true inspiration to me. And I can only look up and say you are my hero because you teach me a lot about life and. And great teacher. Well, thank you so much for all that. I really really means a lot. That's coming from you. Because I feel very much the same way about you. I feel. First off, you said to me something that I felt very way out in left field to me, you know. But I understand now and I think understood back then. But especially understand now. As you said to me, I think this was a good maybe four or five years ago. I would want to say a couple of years ago. But the past few years have to be tacked on because nothing's. We've been stuck in stasis for this long since the pandemic and some other things have happened after the pandemic. Here. We both been dealing with together, but neither here or there. I was just going to say when you said to me, you're godlike and I was thinking, Wow, that sounds a little blasphemous, but. But I really understood what you're saying. You're just trying to say to me, God, you know, you handle so much of your adversity with so much grace. You never complain. And on top of it all, you still are here with me. And you're still fight and used in you, you know. And I think you're trying to say is, you know how much I'm giving of myself. But you know where I got a lot of that from, right ? I got it from you and would have to say about you is you are a beautiful, beautiful soul, beautiful heart and it. It's both beautiful as it is painful because I. Unfortunately, I know at some point I'm going to have to know. Learn how to live what it's like without you and. And for me. I look and not go into detail. But when you tell me the stories of your childhood and all of these messed up things that have happened to you and your life and even continue to happen to you. Now you know it makes me sad. But more than anything is. I think of you is this wonderful rare flower. You know, and you have such a good heart. I've never had you. Even when we've gotten bad conversations where I've even been trying to cut it off with you. You've always said you've always always brought soul and heart to what you do in a way that you're the most dedicated mother, most loving, unconditionally loving mother, most amazing human being. And it's sad that your family never truly got to know you. Because if they did, they would be crying every single day without you. Ah, you know they would be crying every single day and it's their loss. But and I don't know how many people really get to know you like I know you do. Because like I said, I am so lucky. I feel so lucky to be related to you. To. You know, be part of you to to even taken some of your blood in in in, in, you know, to become, you know, into existence to to have come from you. You know it's. It's truly a gift. And the other thing that makes puts a smile on my face is what we were talking about earlier about how you and I even twelve, thirteen years, fifteen hundred miles away from one another. We do the same shit over and over without even communicating. I think there was one week that we both got our tires on our cars replaced. We didn't even know we didn't even know it. And there's a lot of a lot of that kind of stuff that happens or we'll get an idea in our mind. Like even before you mentioned it about the music, we were already right. Immensely on the same mental wavelength. And so I just want to say it's from bottom my heart. Such a pleasure to be your son. I feel so lucky to have you. You're such a mom and I thankfully had a great childhood. Unfortunately, out of my childhood there's a lot about stuff that happened. You know, we lost some family members. I got sick. Hell, I'm still sick right now. But hopefully come out of this the other side and then things will be better. I do feel like things will be better but has been light life altering. Yes. And it makes me truly sad that you've worked. So pardon my french because it's gonna be another explicit episode. Just because the reason you've worked so fucking hard your entire life against. Against the water. And the greatest respect I have for you is. I don't know what it's like to be a parent. Okay, but I know that you've been alongside me through this entire thing. And I try really, really hard from the bond. My heart to be there for you. And you know, especially when it comes to my mind. The short term lot slashed. Long term disability because I don't want you to be stressed out any more than you are. And I know that if they came down to it, we would find a way to make things work if I couldn't work for another x amount of period of time. But I can be covered with it. But I have the greatest respect for you that. Your parents. You're one of the best moms I personally know. And. And you've never given up. You've always been there for me. And it doesn't matter how tired you are, it doesn't. It's not like when I was eighteen a. You and dad were like, Get the eff out. Here is a five hundred bucks. Get out. We don't want to see you again. You've always always been a proud mother. And you've always put one hundred and fifty percent of all your being into parenting and being there for me more than any other thing that you could ever spend time on. So I just wanted to say well done. Because the art piece that you've been working on for all these years you get to look at it. Wow. Well, that's kind of took that a doozy. That's a doozy. Takes my eye. I'm kind of left without the right words because of the emotions I feel inside. But I can say that, are they a good overwhelm ? It was what the words were. Very beautiful. When I take them to my heart. Because I know when you say something it's honest and it's real. And you know you are so precious to me and no matter what, I'll always be there for you. It's my pleasure to be there for you. As a parent. I think the best thing in the world is your children. And I know many of you probably felt exactly that same way. There couldn't be a greater gift, but especially with sack here through the very very hardest of times. And now it's even more so that way of'em. And that's. I think where part of our closeness comes from is that we have walked a journey together that a lot of people may understand. Odd people may not understand. But regardless of the understanding of it. We both know what that is. And to the treasurer that I guess the biggest gift out of that is that deep relationship I have with you. And the deep understanding and the deep respect and the never ending love that comes your way towards me. And unconditional love. That is really a beautiful thing that I'm not sure a lot of people understand. And I'm grateful in many ways that I've experienced not. Maybe I've experienced. Lost the way I have experienced some things that have been really hard. I can't really go as far to say that, but what I can say about it is that as a result of that, I absolutely love you to the end of this earth. And I'm eternally grateful for what I have with you. While likewise, I can't imagine life without you. And you know, it's been both of our optimism and sometimes cynical optimism. Who said it before ? Not that there's any plans, but as a general philosophy, you know, I think a lot of people, given what we've been through in the period of time we've been through with it. What ? Fifteen seventeen years depths, seventeen eighteen years or seventeen eighteen years. You know, roughly half my life has been spent complete home, you know, an isometric, complete hell, not complete out. Because obviously you're here. It'd be complete without you. But. But that's the thing is, I feel so grateful to God that I have you. I have faith in God. I can imagine going through life without some believing something. Because otherwise that I think everything I've experienced thus far be too painful. But one thing I can say for sure is it is the biggest gift in my life that I still have you and I don't want to take it for granted. And I love that we're even doing this podcast. So if in the event, someday I don't have you anymore. And I know you'll be in my heart. You'll be out there but where I can't talk with you. And you know, you know I. Given how similar we are, I know you'll always be right here in my heart and right here in my mind. But also where this is grey. Where we're. Where we are archiving or conversations or later. I'd have, you know. And also you guys get to enjoy them too. Yeah, and you know what ? That's just the way these podcasts are going. They're very honest because I think we got through our subject matter very well, but completely through it. Alright. But I just wanna say that this emotional part is a part is that can i and it's very real and it's. It's just going to happen because when things come up, we just talk about them and it just kind of happened. So some episodes will be really on point. Are we bearing with with our topic ? We won't deviate from it. They're gonna be other ones where things are going to be just a little more loosey goosey. I think our first episode went really well. This one go well, I think so. I think I saw maybe a little bit rougher because we're kind of breaking in and out on topic. But that's okay. It's not gonna always be this way. I don't think we've done an awful job, but I do want to go back to the topic so we can round the south. I just can I please say one thing, I think the only reason why we. We kind of got into the more of the nitty gritty background which we haven't gone to a lot of depth about. But nonetheless, we. We sort of swayed this way or thinks to explain. We understand what overwhelm us is when we got overwhelmed. I'm just going to read this one more time. The definition because I. When I read this definition is there on your neck. Mom. Oh, thank you. I have misplaced my glasses and couldn't find them. Okay to bury or drown beneath a huge mass. And I think that triggered within me. Oh yeah, the feelings. The feelings and they're really. I don't believe we went off the top. Probably not. I think we went into know our depth. I love how you put that. I think that's very honest. I. Because we didn't just start talking about. We didn't. We didn't cheat our way out of the. Come out of the discussion we were going to have tonight is just. No. I think we're talking about. I think we went into a little bit more detail. Will be so deep. Might have lost some of you. True, but we're still on the topic. Overwhelmed. Because I remember you were saying Hey you. Now my mom and I really understand overwhelm. And then we started talking about. And then we got into the whole thing about the emotional aspect of what we mean to each other, which I hope people can take that as a beautiful thing. And as a mother, I hope you can hug your kids and appreciate them. Don't take that stuff for granted because it can always be taken away and you may never get her back as the ultimate thing. And try to not get upset about the small things in life because you'll later be upset that people get small upset about the small things when people are fighting for their lives with disease and stuff. Your eyes that all that stuff doesn't matter is okay. FYI kind of kick us off the next part that so you know we're just we're kind of just as we go along. When they will do this, we'll talk about why maybe we went one place just because we are so detailed. So and that's why I wonder the highly sensitive. Just one last thing I really wanted to that podcast, because I think people will and have better understanding of his. Or hopefully many of you will relate to us, which is even more awesome. Go ahead, sweetie. Alright, so to recap episode two, we discussed procrastination and how procrastination in either separate or intended can lead to overwhelm usually starts with anxiety and the fact that we're feeling anxious about doing something or were lazy of. Most often we don't. And I don't look at it that way. I look at as just where we feeling overwhelmed or anxious about it and so on. Or avoid that those negative feelings we will put off doing things. So that's where procrastination, in my own personal opinion come. It comes from Elsa, partially based on its overall definition and overwhelm. I love how it says to be, You know, basically what is it buried with a heavy object on top of you ? Yes, and you know what ? It's sort of a rumination. Yeah, that's a great word. I just thought of is there's a rumination and emotional rumination that can come with it where you know you're so stuck in that place of overwhelm that I think that you ruminate a person's love. That ruminate. I had to remind myself the deeper the deep or consider thought about something. Yes, you can get so deep in the thought of it that you don't even realize they are wrapped up in the thinking of the negative thought. Right ? Yeah, that's perfect. Because you want to know what. How can you think of anything else when you're so stuck with overwhelm You're just yours. You're actually right up in your face. There's no way you can. You can ignore it. No, Just tell yourself. Well, that's something overwhelming. Something you cannot procrastinate about. It sits there. Do you know what I mean ? Yep. Alright. So here are, Are we ready yet ? Okay, let me find where I'm at, cause but we have some notes here. Alright, So and again, sometimes the procrastination can lead to a false set of beliefs about something. So for instance, my example was because the car's broken down. Because I find that overwhelming. I then start to think, Oh, the car can't be fixed. Have no details that hasn't even been looked at. I don't even know what's wrong with the car. It could be a battery problem, but immediately my head. My head immediately presumes the worse. Why ? I'm sure there's some reason for that is probably evolutionary advantage. You know why we presume the worst. Just like how when it comes to unknown things, our brain freaks out and we get afraid of it and we want to fight or run from something that is unknown or scary. So might be a similar reason. I'm not sure, but we did do a little bit of light reading on the subject to see what other people were saying about. This is okay if I read one and then you read the other avenue my computer. Him, Yeah, Okay. So according to Crutch Sarah Litter. According to Gretchen Rubin, author of Better Than Before, What I Learned about Making and Breaking Habits and the General takeaways. It's easy to changed circumstances stances than ourselves. According to Mr. Rubin, make easy stuff difficult and make difficult stuff more easy to accomplish. That's just the main paraphrasing taken away. This means prioritizing challenging actions over easy, less rewarding ones. Bottom line, Make your temptations more convenient. I don't think that I wrote that the right thing. Make your own pictures. It might have been auto correcting and anyways make make the things you're trying to do that to be able to do the work more convenient. Put yourself in a position, I think is what that's supposed to be. I'm sorry, that was kind of silly. A junior read this next one I highlighted on here. Just read over it just to make sure they're not notes in there. So you understand what it says. K, Only focusing on one at. Excuse me only focusing on one action. Calm their nerves and it allows us a layer of self deception. At the start of a given task, you can consider, then the next action is near as possible, as if you are method acting. The next action on this is if I were going to do it even if I'm not. Bottom line is, don't wait to be in the right mood to complete a task. I see. So you'd actually thrust yourself into the mental state and then just see if it happens. It says just do it. Yeah, Motivation follows action to start with the action and your motivation will follow. I really like that. And you know what it is that it's it's it's. It's focusing on the task without judgement to which is a whole another state of being. Yeah, so like when it comes to emotions, the best way that you can semantic psychology handle things is to not focus on the negatives are positive, don't don't like. If you have pain in your body, don't say, Oh, that's negative pain. Just look at it carefully to see the way it feels. Right ? And I liked where it says Just do it. That goes back in and reaffirms the whole idea of Hey, I'm going to clean my room for ten minutes, right ? Yeah, let's do it in that last bit. And then the motivation tends to kind of catch up. Yeah, yep, the neck. So that was that one was by Dr. I think P Y C H while I think cycle of Michael, Michael. And then I don't know where you got this one. I think these were ones you saw on New York Times that the writer had written a piece on. I don't know if you have that stop on your computer. The author. We will probably want to cite the credit for that. Yeah, but what they recommend is cultivating curiosity. If you're feeling tempted to procrastinate, bring your attention to the sensations arising in your body. Or mind. That's interesting because I was already thinking that on my own, which was more of a somatic psychology view of it. Which means you're not passing judgment on it, but you're remaining with the energy long enough for it to actually work it's way through your body, so you're not holding onto any bad energy. What feelings are elicited for your temptation ? Where do you feel them in your body ? What do they remind you of ? What happens to the thought of procrastinating as soon as you observe it as it intensified dissipate causes other emotional emotions to arise. Are the sensations in your body shifting as you continue the rest your awareness on them ? So that sounds like something straight out of a smack psychology book. And if anyone's wanting a recommendation on a semantic psychology book, there is a book by the offer author of something. Levine is Waking the Tiger. Do you know which move book ? Oh, Steven Levine, Stephen Levine, and Waking the Tiger. Really good book. I read it years ago. Sorry, Peter Levine, Peter Levine, Peter, Yes, Peter Levine, l e vi ne. I call, I said Levine, But I think it's your loot. Living, I guess. French. Levine, You know, Lou on the topic with my mom, and I've been working on French while my mom. You're what at five hundred six hundred is six hundred and forty two, and I'm at like three hundred and thirty. Were actually learning French, Believe it or not, I know how to read quite a bit of French, and I know how to write responses in French pretty well. I know how to say individual words well, but as far as coming up with the entire words to speak it, and that's probably second is difficult, and the most difficult is listening. People speak at full speed. I think that's the the the the trades if you see it difficult. Nice. Yet I was following you and whether or not I have the right accents as a whole, nother matter. And when I'm learning my French, I'm not remembering all of the accents on the symbols. I'm just trying to get the letters down to first so I could mean trouble later. But but I'll just say this. I see if I'm through this, right ? Jim, Lwv la France le Francais. I am learning France, know Jim, Jim, I love I like, oh, I like yes, French French word zit, zit, shed door to door lou Francais. I love French. Yeah, yeah, Unfortunately, I'm not saying detest. Hate is that's the word for the for to get into the French subject right now, but it is very fascinating how much much of the french words. Yeah, you can identify related to English and it's a hard language, but I've always just loved the accent I love. I love listening to French being spoken and like sex Ed may never get down exactly what those accents are. Since we're American and we've only spoken English personally, I've spoken English and nothing else, but we're working on it. But working because you know what, we are going to go to France at some point. Yeah, and it'd be great to be able to communicate, give directions and all that. And I gotta tell you, we've been really happy with Duolingo Duolingo spinner. Really good one. We are not sponsored by Duolingo, so this is not a sponsorship but Duolingo. If you would like to sponsor us, just let us now. Oh, we would love to sponsor you with your. Amazing. I think the way you have things set up and learning is. Makes it much easier and it's only getting better too. I think I think they made the exercises you're in not as long so it's. There's no excuse for me truly to be using streak freezes all the time or to not be doing it. It's really only takes up most if you apply yourself. Five minutes as long as you're actually trying to remember or memorize stuff. The exercises. I argue that they did the most recent couple of patches have been releasing. I will save. What they've done with the competitive stuff is total crap. The matching. I don't even know how they expect you to match like you have to be you. I am sure people that are native French can't even respond fast enough to complete the. The. The exercise that is impossible, which were tiny procrastination, because sometimes that can. I wait till the very end of the day. And we. Just because you lose your days. If you don't do a little at least five minutes, or around five minutes, you have to. At least one exercise. So there goes that procrastination again. But I'm determined not to lose how much time I have. So I figure five minutes and what you said, Zack was so true. You don't really lose even if you only do five minutes a day. You're still learning and you really don't lose what you've learned. I think it's like if you just stopped doing it, you would. Because you know, I've always heard that if you don't continue, you can lose everything you've learned. Or if you speak them more than one language. If he must beat that. Speak that language for awhile you can lose it. Or did you find the author of that of the. I'm on it right now, cause y'all get in on it. Getting in on it just a minute so we can wrap that up. Cause we're. We're almost done. Here we are done and where we actually probably should try to finish this up in the next couple. Mess. I don't want it to go more than an hour and forty five minutes. We did not really talk about that much to be going this long. So I think we talked about a lot. But anyway, I. An earlier version of this article incorrectly referred to. Refer to the university at which gets and Brewer, Is it an implied author ? Mom, Yes, I'm the author. I know I'm looking for. It is not at the top here. Okay, sometimes it gets a little annoyed with my computer skills. But it is not listed at the top. Go to the bottom. You'll find it's not there. Oh, excuse me. Surely I didn't come. He always does this to me. This is by Charlotte Lieberman, March twenty fifth, Two thousand and nineteen. I was looking at the very, very, very, very very top. And actually it is. Why you procrastinate. It has nothing to do with self control. If procrastination isn't about laziness then what's it about ? So we actually don't agree with her. I said I made the comment that does have to do with partially self control because we're trying to. We're trying to. Emotionally regulator state right in the gulf, mostly regular snare state. As long as it's not purely laziness, we just don't feel like it. But if it brings us anxiety, I think it is about emotional root cause. I don't agree with her, except I do want to say this, alright. So basically the reward system in our brain now, naturally, unless. Okay, and I'm saying we could probably control it this way if we made her decision too. But the reward system of the brain and for. Not really conscious about it. We're not gonna be focused on that. So of course, the reward system of the brain wants to just say too much work right out of laziness. Yes, but there's another side of laziness are out of the fact that our brain just naturally is the default mode is the default network of our. Of our bright neurons. Neuronal network is easier, neuronal network, but less trained one. I understand what you're saying if in fact, we're mindful about that and we start focusing on the. On making ourselves accountable, not in a negative way, not in a blaming way, but saying I really want to do battle with us in order to do better with this, I have to remember that my brain gets hijacked with the reward system. Okay, because the reward system is there. And unless we're aware that like, like when I think I could do it till tomorrow I am going to say ham my brains hijacking again and then I can say let's go back and let's see if we just can't do this now for five minutes or ten minutes, right ? Yeah, so yeah, it's like, and I'm not sure that I think that starts with action rather than thought. I think is the real. Yeah, and it's just starting. Just do what is the act as the actor ? Then the thought is just do it. So anyway, Yeah, we need to wrap this up and end on a quote. But I just wanted to add that. But yeah, totally. Well, anyway, this is. It's awesome. I hope that you guys enjoyed this and look forward to listening to us more. And hopefully some day we'll be able to talk to you. For those of us that follow us because we really want to get to that point as soon as possible. But we're really trying to be realistic. I don't say we're realistic I'm trying to be realistic with his cause sometimes I'm not. So Anyway, sack, I guess that's it for me. I have not much more to say. If you want endless with that quote, that'd be awesome. Yeah, I was just gonna say that this has been a great creative outlet for us. We haven't done anything in the way of art for a long time. I think last thing that my mom and I did was this would have been and and or you know, November December of twenty or sixteen. We were actually basically doing Bob Ross. So that's like the mass. Last major creative thing other than working on your website for your counseling business, but had not been worked on us like the last major kind of tech project I've done in bucks. A very rusty since I've been working in a lab for so long and stuff so I don't know but who you know if necessary we'll see when we. Limitations, or if necessary, maybe I can be pursuing something that's more sedentary, but I would prefer not to and prefer to rusty. I mean, Zach, Come on, I think what you just created the website you created for a web podcast is beautiful, so may have taken you. May be a while longer, but it didn't take me longer. It's it's just it's. It's. It's hard because you know it's just like a muscle. You use it or you lose it. So you know. Well, you haven't lost it. Well, I appreciate that. Even if it does, I guess take longer. I don't know the best way to. Anyways, what was I saying ? I shoot. You are talking about the last thing that we did that was artistic was Bob Ross. Okay, and there is a quote that you were going to end. Well, yeah, there's something else I was going to say before that I. I. Oh, yeah, I was just going to say you're. You're. You're going to interrupt. What I was trying to say is I was trying to say that you know the limitations. I have to kind of see where I'm at with things. You know coming out the other. The other side. I'm not going to go into detail but a vanilla. Some health issues and some life altering things that change my general ability to be able to do things. And currently I'm not able to do things as I'm trying to rehab and get back on my feet. So I don't know how long it's gonna take. But it's. This has been a very exasperating situation. So, but I'm just trying to keep a positive mind. Just keep going with it and see where I end up. The reality is, what I was just trying to say is that I need to see if I need to change up what I do. I previously worked in research. A lot of that was physically demanding and I may not be able to go back to that. And I don't have something actually to go back to cause There's no current rent currently. But I have to be careful before committing to something. I don't over commit to something that you obviously can't do because it has to. Physically challenging. And right now that's how that's how challenging it's ban as I really felt that. So anyways, I wanted. And on this note though, this was a quote from Maya Angelou and it reads, When you do nothing, you feel overwhelmed and powerless. But when you get involved, you feel the sense of hope and accomplishment. And that really to me at least really, I can really feel what you saying. You know it's when you let the power of those things ruminates in your mind. It kind of take you over, you know, even start to, you know, write a story in your own head. We. We sometimes our worst one enemies, right ? Like we don't fit. We feel like we're not worthy of something. Or you know, like what's wrong with me ? I should be able to do this. And I think it's a very human thing to procrastinate in general. I think it's part of the human condition, like you know, both physically and mentally. So I think it's important that, like you said, we have. We show grace towards ourselves. But personally, if you actually do finally get around to doing it, whether or not it's just by default, putting yourself in that in that mental mode, you know to help encourage it without expectation, but just put yourself there long enough for more than more than more than a few seconds or a few minutes. But you know, even fifteen minutes, you're more likely to do it. And if you put yourself in that mode of just doing it for fifteen minutes pretty soon, what time you'd lose track of it. You know, you listen to music, you've got other things to distract you from the work of doing it. It's even better. And once you get the momentum going, you just keep going. And so you know, pretty soon it's not a big deal. And then finally, the last thing is just doing it, just the act of doing it. Sometimes we get so caught up in the mental. And you know, Oh my god, you know, thinking about it and how bad it's going to be that sometimes were completely shocked when it's good and then the outcome when we're productive. It feels so good to not only cross things off the list, but if we. If we produce something amazing, imagine if you're an artist and you have a commission like. Man, I don't wanna do this. Do this. Don't wanna do this. And what happens is you finally sit down and you do it and you listen to some great music. Can you produce this thing ? You're so glad that you did it because it wasn't going to happen. Otherwise. All I have to say about the whole procrastination thing, you and I don't have to worry about procrastinating about these podcasts, cause we're loving every bit of it. So I just hope that you guys are too. Yeah, And obviously that the more people that listen to us, the more likely we are going to continue to feel that passion that we're feeling right now. And we realize it takes a long time for people to find out about different podcasts. And if this is one for you, we hope that you'll continue listening because we plan on doing as many as we can. And honestly, we really get excited before we do these. And again, if it sounds as though sometimes that we're going in one direction, we don't plan, we just kind of talk. And that's just kind of who we are. And but for the most part, I think we keep it pretty well together. And I'm pretty pleased with tonight. And the fact that we just let it flow. And I think that's the way that life should just be. We can't control it. We need to just let it flow. And sometimes it's hard. Sometimes it's. It's heartbreaking, but in the end can put it back together and you can move forward. And sometimes it's one day at a time and trying to learn to do to be mindful of one day at a time. Because that is definitely going to help with my procrastination and my overwhelm. And really helped me to heal in many ways. That I need to heal and really doing this podcast. You guys, you're a part of my healing. And because I feel like just you listening and maybe on like I said, we'll be able to incorporate the Collins soon. Because that's just seems when I'm personable to me. But anyway, peace to you and and I take good care of yourselves until the next one and do. We will be creating our next podcast. Very very soon can't really say when but at a puppy within a couple of days. So with the weekend coming on. So anyway, thanks so much for listening and come back. Thanks so much for doing this with me. Man. This is a really fun thing to do with you. I'm enjoying this yummy too. And I was going to say, Do you know it's important for you all to be patient with yourself ? Be kind to yourself and the world is not such a great place right now for a lot of people think we're all kind of feeling it, you know, unless. And I think even for people that are well to do with money or having difficult right now in some instances, but just trying to remember to be kind, be well to yourself. And you know, one thing that my mom and I need to work a lot better on is not treating life so serious. So that's something that just remind you know that you're worthy, you're worthy of love, respect, kindness, etc. And that's just a gentle reminder to you to to to practice that just like procrastination, a self care and self awareness. Self care and the rights to happiness. All those kinds of things. You have to believe it yourself in order for it to happen, you know, to actually attract those things in your life. So just to remind that. Want to remind you gently that that's something that you've got to remember. And then I know that you were. We were saying goodbye. There was full. Last time I went to sleep. I can't remember what it was. I. Okay, it's alright. Sometimes we get. I know, I know it's a. There's so much to say I think was just gonna say that Yeah, we were originally going to. Wanting to commit to once a week with the podcast. I. Nor can it do. It's not going to comment on the. On the format. You know, not every episode is going to be improvised. You know where we just have a conversation. Some of them will actually be reading off of off of a. Scripts, but generally speaking, it won't be scripted as a general rule. But I do think on certain topics that require a lot of. You know, things we have to, you know, really make sure that we're. You know, on on point. You know with it so well, you really talking about is like if there's an educational thing that we're talking about and we're putting different things. I. I totally agree because you know, sometimes their statistics. Or sometimes there's things that will be referring to. And we did a little bit tonight, but it was more an open ended kind of discussion about procrastination because everyone will look at it their own way. But you know, we expect to get some work coming up with a loop. We have a ton of ideas. Were trying to decide which one to do first, but you're absolutely right. Sometimes there may be more like, I guess, educational or more structured in a way. That and we're talking about something more in depth that we have is going to be a more crit critical analysis, a more critical look at certain topics where we really will take it from the. The. The basic elemental concepts all the way through to their execution, how how it happened, exactly, and everything in between. And really distill down knowledge into a format that really, really exhaustively looks at a topic. The one that we did tonight is not an exhaustive view of procrastination. Or this is a mere attempt at looking at some of our experience in our lives and basically saying to you, Hey, you're doing a lot of procrastination. Listening to podcasts, you should be doing something else. Don't feel bad. It happens to all of us as part of the human condition. So you know to be gentle about that. But also, you know, be mindful. Maybe do some of your own research and will be open to hearing your feedback if you find other resources that are helpful and you can listen to our podcast and clean your house in your car so you can multitask. So we're trying to help you learn to multitask. And I hope you find this entertaining so that you do. So. And when I was at the lab, especially during the pandemic, what was I doing ? I was listening to podcasts in my entire life. I'd never listen to the podcast. Do you know how much better it was ? I was listening to the same music over and over and over. How a lot of time to pass. And he loves listening to people talking. I was like, damn, this is, you know. And and so it just just made so much sense for us to do on some new ways. Guys be well until we see you next time and hopefully we'll be working on the production quality from here. But just know that the website they are going to be changes. Just to feel free to check us out at a polychromatic dot com. It's p o l y c h r o m a t i q eat t i q u e dot com. That's a mouthful of the ent medical, but it's French. What can you say ? Yeah, and on there you will see. You'll notice the right site if it says the polychromatic podcast at the top - right. It's got a mountain range at the top and the site is kind of a peach. Kind of not read, but kind of a pink, peachy, peachy color, colored, and we will have news on there. You'll be able to send us a note on the contact form. We will have episodes posted there again where you'd be able to comment on the episodes and also comment on other people's comments about the episodes. To be on the lookout for that, you're more than welcome to sign up at this point. If you notice that there's weirdness with the website with using it, just realize it's a work in progress. So if there's an issue with using it, just come back the next day, etc. If you need to try using it again, but generally speaking it should work. So you're welcome to get involved if you want and check us out. And also I plan on making it a future. If you want to subscribe to our list, we will email you when there's new podcast episode available. Love that ! And thanks so much for putting all the work into the sack. So thankful you've got that top talent of websites and I i. T stuff. Because folks, if it wasn't for him, I, this would still be. This website would not Be up so I I just wanna. Thanks Zack for doing this because he's put a lot of work into it and I know that he's really excited just as I am about what we're doing. Take care. We care about all you. And do you know our love goes to the world. So we hope to talk to talk to you soon. Yup. And I was going to say is very much a passion project and I've not gotten this lost in a project like this for a long time. So it's been a welcome outlet from all of the stuff I've been dealing with. So peace be with you guys and we'll catch the next episode. Bye for now.